Monday, August 14, 2006

With Psychic Friends Like These...






...who needs enemies?




I watch little TV, and even less daytime TV. I haven't had cable in years. So, having a free day but feeling a little tired I lied down on the couch and stared at the TV for a little bit. I expected the offerings on the tube to be pretty idiotic, but I wasn't expecting this.

The Montel Williams talk show was featuring world-famous, "real-live psychic" Sylvia Browne. She then proceeds to wrap the audience around her pinky finger with her amazing psychic insights and predictions. What an absolute fraud! She is obviously cold reading her victims. Even sleazy used car salesmen can do a better job of cold reading potential custumers than she can.

Actually, I have more respect for used car salemen than psychics. At least you get a crappy car out of the deal. I have little tolerance for people who intentionally and cynically spread falsehoods and lies, making the world a more fucked up place than it already is, for their own gain and greed. What I find particularly repugnant is that these psychics are weaving pure fantasies to people with serious real-world problems; some of their problems require a professional psychologist rather than a professional psychic. Some people I remember from the show were looking for signs of hope from loved ones who died from random violence, a mother grieving for a stillborn child...serious, heavy shit.

It takes a special breed of inhumane, hypocritical, exploitative soulless sleaze to prey on such vulnerable people, and charge big bucks to boot. Browne, for example, charges $700 for a half-hour reading on the phone.

There ought to be a law for people like Browne.


An Encyclopedia of Claims, Frauds, Hoaxes...

The Naked Quack




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Sunday, August 13, 2006

Candidate For Governor Takes Satire VERY Seriously

You know, I was really hoping to bait Jeb Bush (or at least Tom Gallagher) into a ferocious diatribe of self-righteous indignation at my previous blog entry Who You Should Vote For . Unfortunately, the only gubernatorial candidate who bit was apparently Socialist party candidate Atlee Yarrow. I guess I'll just take what I can get! (you can read his priceless comment here).

The comrade pontificated extensively on the unforgivable ignorance and political naivete in the blog. Of course, ad hominem attacks and numerous derogatory insults on my intelligence and are surefire ways to win my vote!

Fortunately for me, there were a couple of things that protected my fragile ego from being shaken by the full force of such an earth-shattering retort from the good comrade. One is my thick skin and imperviousness to adolescent name-calling, especially by candidates running for governor.

Another thing, and more importantly, was the fact that the entire article was intended as a political farce and satire, using newfangled literary tools such as humor and hyperbole. In other words, it was a fucking joke! Perhaps my endorsement of a baboon for governor was a little too subtle for political candidates to appreciate. Or maybe the comrade's vision is a bit too myopic to see that I was taking jabs at ALL of the candidates I listed, not just him. Any middle school student (and any other human with the remotest sense of humor) can read into such context clues and come to the conclusion that this wasn't serious political commentary.

This is just classic. I mean, here I am trying to write a piece of satire, and along comes a politician who trumps the satire without even trying! I admire such Zen-like skill. He was so intent trying to force my foot in my mouth that he failed to realize I was already speaking with my tongue firmly in cheek. Don't you just love unintentional humor?!

Oh... one more thing, there never was any character named "Schmo" on the Three Stooges, comrade. Get your slapstick straight!






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Saturday, August 12, 2006

Important, Useful Information

Thursday, August 03, 2006

A Castro Newsflash

Regarding the previous entry on Castro's death:














SSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE! Tales of Castro's demise are greatly exaggerated.

The article is not real, and I didn't even write most of it. Most of the previous article I transcribed from a Voice of America obituary written for Castro found in Memory Hole. They even conveniently left blank spaces in certain parts of his obituary so they can easily fill in things like Castro's age and cause of death. I spiced it up with some recent articles from the Miami Herald to make the whole obituary appear more timely and believable.
Castro probably has more obituaries written on him than any other living person. Even legit organizations like CNN have participated in such wishful thinking. Castro has had so many failed assassination attempts put on him by the U.S. government, and he's been a thorn in the side of Washington for decades. I don't agree with everything Castro has done, but I do have to admit I pull for the underdog with this one... and can't help but respect and admire how David has stood up to Goliath so intently and for so long. The way things have been going, I wouldn't be surprised if Castro continues to be a revolutionary pain in the ass for the U.S. for another 20 years. Viva La Revolución!


The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasures of Obituaries

Executive Action: 638 Ways to Kill Fidel Castro



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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Fidel Castro Dead at 79


Times Wire

HAVANA, Cuba- Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz, president of Cuba, died today of complications from colon cancer, according to official Cuban sources. His death followed intense speculation in the U.S., particularly the Cuban exile community in Miami, that Mr. Castro was undergoing surgery for life-threatening intestinal bleeding. Prior to the surgery, Castro temporarily handed power over to his brother, Raúl--the first time he has given up power since becoming prime minister of the island in 1959. Today, that temporary power became permanent, with Raúl Castro becoming Cuba's first new president in 47 years.

Mr. Castro's communist dictatorship lasted decades, surviving a U.S. backed invasion, a superpower missile crisis, numerous assassination plots and nearly a half century of U.S. economic sanctions.

Born in 1926, Fidel Castro Ruz was the son of an immigrant landowner from Spain who owned large estates in the eastern part of the island. As a youth, Fidel attended Jesuit schools, and then later enrolled at the University of Havana, where he received a law degree and also became active in politics.

A powerful and charismatic speaker, he soon emerged as one of the leaders in the growing movement against the dictatorship of Fulgencio Batista. In 1953, one year after Mr. Batista seized power in a bloodless coup, Mr. Castro led an unsuccessful attack to seize the Moncada military barracks in Santiago de Cuba, the island's second largest city. A number of his men were killed, and many others captured, including Mr. Castro himself.

After his release in 1955, Mr. Castro began organizing another effort to overthrow the Batista dictatorship. This time, he was more successful. By the late 1950's, he was leading a large guerilla force based in Cuba's Sierra Maestra mountains. Victory finally came in January, 1959, and a triumphant guerilla army, many of them bearded and wearing fatigues, marched into Havana.

After seizing power, the new Cuban government began making major changes, collectivizing farms and nationalizing banks and industries, including more than $1 billion worth of U.S. properties. Political liberties were suspended and government critics jailed.

In taking these actions, Mr. Castro finally acknowledged what had become increasingly obvious; he was a marxist and intended to set up a communist state in Cuba. Cuba's new leader also made sure that he would keep a tight rein on power. According to Cuba specialist, Thomas Patterson:

"From the very beginning, beginning in the late '50s when he rebelled against Batista, he tried to keep power and authority very much in his own hands for himself and a very small circle of friends. It's his revolution in that sense, and we speak of the Castro Revolution, not just the Cuban Revolution."

Mr. Castro's policies put him on a collision course with the United States. Washington broke off diplomatic relations with Havana, and imposed a trade embargo. Then, in April, 1961, the United States armed and directed a poorly planned invasion by Cuban exiles, which was easily defeated at the Bay of Pigs. Another confrontation occured in 1962, when the United States discovered Soviet nuclear missiles had been installed on the island. Moscow withdrew its missiles after U.S. naval forces set up a blockade of the island, thereby ending the most dangerous showdown of the Cold War.

Following the Cuban missile crisis, Mr. Castro built up his armed forces into one of the most powerful in Latin America. Sometimes acting as a Soviet proxy, Mr. Castro sent his troops around the globe to support the spread of communism. Also in the 1960s and '70s, he supported leftist guerilla movements in Latin America. At the same time, Mr. Castro established a healthcare and education system that put Cuba among the top nations of the developing world for high literacy rates and low infant mortality. These programs succeeded in part because of financial support from Moscow. By the time the Soviet Union collapsed in the early 1990s, Cuba had been receiving up to $6 billion a year in Soviet subsidies.

The disappearance of these subsidies plunged Cuba into a deep recession that led to severe shortages of food and other necessities. This forced the communist government to undertake some reforms, such as allowing limited private sector activities, legalizing the use of the dollar, and seeking foreign investment. But even these small steps towards a free market system were resisted by the aging Cuban leader.

"Even rich industrial countries", he told reporters on more than one occasion, "cannot put all their people to work. This is why capitalism is unsustainable."

But his brand of socialism also proved unworkable. By the end of the 1990's, only Cubans with dollars could buy good quality food, medicines or other necessities. Mr. Castro blamed this situation on the U.S. economic embargo, and while many Cubans may have agreed with him, they also blamed the failings of communism for the country's economic problems.

Mr. Castro never ceased his opposition to capitalism or to the way the world had changed following the collapse of communism in eastern Europe and Russia. At the time of his death, he had held power longer than any current Latin American leader.

The Bush administration's reaction to the news of Castro's death was decidely mixed, saying no change in U.S. policy on Cuba is forthcoming. At a briefing at the White House, spokesman Tony Snow said the change in power won't mean any changes in the U.S.-Cuba relationship, at the moment.

''There are no plans to reach out,'' Snow said.


He said the president is committed to democracy in Cuba and called Castro's brother his ''prison keeper'' and that Raul Castro's elevation to Cuban president will "not a change that status.''

''The one thing we're going to continue to do is assure the people of Cuba that we stand ready to help,'' Snow said, referencing the report that spells out how the administration will handle a post-Castro Cuba.

The State Department reiterated its longstanding policy that the United States would only act if a transition government moved toward democracy.


The Real Fidel Castro


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Ephemera and Anomalies at Feral's Shop