Who You Should Vote For

The election for Florida's next governor is still months away, but it's not too early to do some Feral analysis of the current crop of candidates!

If you don't live in Florida, you may think that this upcoming election has nothing to do with you. Think again. Whatever your opinion of the Sunshine State happens to be, Florida matters in the big political scheme of things, both in the U.S. and worldwide. Think back to the glory days of 2000 and the Florida chad debacle. Who happened to be governor back then? Why, George W.'s brother Jeb of course. Thanks to good ol' Jeb and his cronies, the state was handed to George, landing him directly into the White House. That, in turn, leads to such wonderful things like the Patriot Act, the War on Terror, Iraq, and so many other bright sunshiny things the world is dealing with on a daily basis today. Thanks Florida!

Jeb Bush
Thank gawd there's such a thing as "term limits". Of course, we'll always remember Jeb as the main guy who helped his brother steal the presidential election and gave us the visions of Armageddon we hold so dear today. But let's not forget his other enlightened progressive moves leading us boldly into the future. Things like repealing the car emissions test requirement that helped the environment and curbed pollution. Or how about removing the law to wear a helmet when riding a motorcycle? Classy! And let's not forget other things like religious school vouchers paid for with public tax money, or the multitude of laws enabling business and corporations exploit the state and it's people with as little interference as possible. You can move to sunny Florida and get paid a fraction for what you were paid doing exactly the same job in a lot of other states. Why, it's like having a lite version of Mexico or Bangladesh sweatshops right in the good ol' U.S. of A.! Quite a legacy you'll leave, Jeb.

Charlie Crist
You can see it in his eyes: Charlie wants to be governer really, really, really bad! He wants it so bad, he's already raised a ton of cash from corporate coffers to inundate our TV screens with political ads months ahead of time to show us what a good guy he is. If you just didn't get enough of Jeb the first couple of times around, Charlie is your man if you want to be force fed even more Bush for years to come. He prides himself in being a Bush clone, and even proclaims his undying love for Bush in his TV ads. He thinks South Dakota is da bomb on abortions, and wants to make S.D. type laws making it practically impossible to get an abortion in Florida too. He's big-time pro-business, and "family values" to which you MUST conform. He's your typical slick neocon in a nutshell.

Tom Gallagher
On the other hand, maybe guys like Jeb and Charlie are a little too bleeding heart liberal commie for your tastes. Then you want Adolf Hitl-- er, Tom Gallagher on your side.
He'll support your god-given right to be a homophobic, foaming-at-the-mouth bible thumping fascist bigot waiving your AK-47 and other weapons of conventional warfare around your mobile-home lot to protect your priceless 1973 TV Guide collection from the bogeyman. One of the first issues in his TV ads is to point out how he rabidly opposes gay marriage and other dire threats to Western Civilization. Yes, such issues are just as vitally important to my everyday life as figuring out how to pay for a roof over my head and food on the table. Sieg heil y'all!

Jim Davis
No, he's not the guy who draws those lame-ass Garfield cartoons. He hasn't been squeezing our corporate overlords of zillions of dollars in donations like the republicans, so he doesn't quite have the name-recognition (like Crist or Gallagher) for those who get most of their information of the world around them through their television set (which, in the end, is the only thing that really matters anymore). He does seem to be a good alternative to the other candidates, and definitely an improvement over Jeb--supporting things like using the state's budget surplus to fund schools and health care instead of private business profits and tax cuts for multi-millionaires. As things stand right now, though, he's another anonymous opposition democrat who's offering little effective resistance to the republican media machine. He's got to overcome his current anonymity and get his face more in the public view to have a snowball's chance in hell of winning though.

Another thing he needs to do is be a real democrat. Don't pander to the republican value system. Support things that matter to normal people. Support worker's rights, living wages, get the U.S. out of imperialist conquest mode around the world, assert a person's right (not privilege) to healthcare like other civilized countries, help people live a bearable life with decent housing and food, be responsive to pollution and environmental needs, etc. Screw what the republicans think, they're full of shit. Why is that so hard for big name democrats to understand?

Don't get me wrong; I certainly don't think that the democratic party is the way to political nirvana. I'm actually registered independent. But they're a helluva lot better than the tripe republicans have been force feeding us in the last 12 years, and particularly since King George has taken reign.

Rod Smith
Um, Rod who???

Atlee Yarrow
Why, you might ask, am I including some schmo from a political party that has 8 members? Well, as things stand right now, he's got about as fair shot winning as Davis or any other "challenger" to the right wing naz---ummmm, republicans, yeah- that's the ticket...

Besides, the party platform includes such unamerican heresies like focusing on everyday people rather than huge corporate profits, greatly improving the social safety net, progressive income tax, among other great threats to our personal liberties.

This all sounds great to me. The problem is that this is the platform of the Socialist Party, and they insist on keeping the tag "socialist" in their name. As everybody knows, all socialists are evil corrupt dictators. I'll be damned if I let another Stalin set up gulags in Miami Beach! Guantanamo is as close as I want to get to that, thank you very much! Thanks to decades of cold war propaganda, that's the first thing that comes to many minds of Americans when they hear the word socialist. And unfortunately, there is no way that scarlet letter will fade anytime in the near future from the American psyche. So step number one is for that party to come up with a name more palatable in the U.S.

Step number two: I don't understand why third parties always go for the gusto in elections they have no chance in hell of winning, such as presidential elections or campaigns for state governor. They always waste a huge amount of their time and relatively meager resources chasing such windmills, no matter how pristine and persuasive their platform is. They rarely even get significant name recognition for their party.

Besides, even if they did get a miraculous win in high office, it will surely go down in a blaze in quick order. For example, imagine for a moment that we live in a parallel universe, and all the planets and stars aligned perfectly, and Ralph Nader actually takes the White House. You think Bill Clinton got a bum rap when he was president? Imagine Ralph facing an even more hostile Senate with no other Green allies to work with. It would be an unmitigated disaster from the get-go.

The right wing who wants to make abortion illegal and force feed the kids creation stories at school (and the Green Party more recently) realized that the way to go is from the bottom up, not the other way around. Start locally, and infiltrate less glamorous offices like the local school board or city council. With their foot in the door, they then can slowly work their way up to more powerful positions. The instant gratification of seizing the presidency or governorship is lost, but they never had a chance anyways. All third parties need to leave high office as a long term goal and focus exclusively at the local level and then work their way up. It's the only realistic strategy.

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So, all things considered after all this in-depth analysis and research, there is only one conclusion to be reached this election year...

Feral's Official Endorsement

Bobo the Baboon

Florida needs instant name recognition beyond Disneyworld and hanging chads. Bobo gets things done. You can tell by the stiff-jawed stare of Bobo that he takes no bull, from corporations, state senators---nobody. Minnesota, you think you're tough with your Jesse "The Body" Ventura? California's "terminator" governor Ahnuld? Ha! Bobo will literally rip both of your pansy girly-men to shreds in minutes! Florida needs a non-homo sapien like Bobo right now.

Remember this in November: Bobo-the only way to go!

On Sale Now!

Remember that little offbeat shrunken head collection you bought from some friendly Trobrianders at that funky shack in New Guinea a few years ago, and is now gathering dust in the closet? You should

read this first!

Other cool stuff to blow your money on

Subliminal Imagery

Have you ever gone through Google Image Search and get some interesting results? Is this one of the things you associate with Dick Cheney? How did Grover on Sesame Street wind up here? Here is a list of some of my results here...
Related to this little experiment, Ways of Seeing is a classic essay on how images relate to text (and context), along with the sublimal meaning of images found in advertising and art. It was written back in the 70's, but many of the ideas in the book are still imformative and useful today.

Mindfuck







Shit Creek












God












Satan

Cult

Please share any good ones you might have!

Unsurprising

I'm a little ambivalent about the conclusions of this Salon article:

"I make $1.45 a week and I love it"

True, juggernauts like Amazon are paying people real cheap to do their dirty work for them. They've been doing it for years. I myself was obsessed for a long time selling used books on Amazon. It was a good way to make an extra buck. I was aware the whole time that Amazon was a getting a good cut of the fruits of my labor simply by allowing me to post my items on their site, there was no work on their part.

Was I being exploited by Amazon? Sure I was. But I was knowingly allowing them to do so, because there were tangible benefits for me. I wasn't some third world peasant with few economic options other than working in a sweatshop or starving. I'm currently part of Amazon's affiliate program, which isn't really work on my part at all, except in the most passive sense.

Likewise, the people doing the work at "Amazon Mechanical Turk" are doing the same thing. They are completely and willingly doing labor for Amazon. They have enough time and resources to sit at their computer and find programs such as these and complete the tedious work. I believe very few (if any) of these people are relying on this program for their next meal. Most are likely just doing this to make an extra buck to just buy more stuff. Rampant consumerism is the crux of the problem; Amazon is just a symptom of the problem. The corporations encourage this, so in no way am I apologizing for these organizations. However, a lot of the blame needs to be placed squarely on the people who participate in this... people who are doing this just to buy more stuff.

The Salon Article

In Praise of Dive Bars

So, I'm thinking of an episode in the Simpsons where Springfield's Wharf District gets gentrified; a run down part of town where lots of homeless people, criminals, and other outcasts spend their days and nights--which then catches on with the artistic, bohemian crowd, and finally graduates to mainstream acceptance, with overpriced bars, nightclubs, etc. and lots of money to be made on "nostalgia". "This isn't faux dive", exclaims a character (in disgust) in the show when exploring the neighborhood and discovering Moe's Tavern, "...this is a just a dive!" To which Moe replies, "You're a long way from home, yuppie boy. I'll start a tab."

The philosopher Herbert Marcuse commented on this phenomenon of gentrification; subversive (even truly revolutionary ideas and movements) become "cool" and profitable for the capitalist, thus negating the true revolutionary impact (or even truly subversive aspects) of any idea or movement. He was referring to the idea of "flower power" back in the 1960's and 70's, but the idea (of the insidious, viral power of capitalism to appropriate, assimilate and defuse any cultural phenomenon that might be a threat to the status quo) still holds remarkable weight today, even more so now--thanks to the internet.

Go to any decent sized U.S. city, and you can easily locate the officially designated "hip" part of town...with its coffee shops, health food stores, overpriced eateries, galleries and boutiques, etc. If you look into the histories of these neighborhoods you could find an eerily similar story between many of them.

At one point in time, many of these neighborhoods often actually were very cool... a veritable bubbling cultural brew outside of the mainstream. Then, at some point, mainly between 10 to 20 years ago, entrepeneurs saw a huge marketing opportunity within these diverse, artistic enclaves.


In addition to skyrocketing real estate values chasing away the original poor and lower middle class residents, one of the most obvious visible signs of the gentrification of these neighborhood is the establishment of overpriced bars, usually chain bars that sell exactly the same thing in at least a dozen other hipster joints across the country. There you can sip on the latest trendy luke warm "microbrew" for 8 bucks a pop (after waiting at the bar for 30 minutes because the bar is 5 people deep with a sea of sorority clones with piercings, trendy yuppies with tats, among all the other important, beautiful people cutting in front of you), and stand there staring at people flapping their lips because it's impossible to hear anything than the stereo system turned up to 11. Good times!

If you're into that sort of thing, and you actually enjoy the fascist Wal-Mart business model invading every conceivable physical and psychological aspect of your life... including your socializing and your inebriation, congratulations! You suck in more shallow, tragi-comic ways than you will ever know. Besides, I'm not writing about that kind of place. I am writing about the previous tenants of these establishments: who had a sense of originality, a real rough edge to them, cheap and priceless at the same time, and whose sole meaning of existence went beyond pandering to the lowest common denominator to make maximum dollars to satisfy the whims of it's greedy investors.

I am referring, of course, to the humble (and endangered) dive bar.

For those who would prefer to get a taste of the raw beauty of a classic dive from the comfort and safety of their three thousand dollar prefaded leather "thrift store retro-style" couch, I would recommend watching the film Barfly, in between pointless pseudo-intellectual conversations on your svelte supersleek cell phone and bites of macrobiotic tabouli while surfing the website of your local cookie-cutter, "alternative weekly" that has exactly the same format as 50 other cities' "alternative weeklies", naturally.

Indeed, the word for such an experience like getting drunk at a dive could best be described as "Bukowskiesque" (Charles Bukowski, incidentally, also wrote the screenplay to Barfly). But really, the poetry and beauty of a dive goes beyond mere words. Like fine art or a good fuck, it needs to be actually experienced in the real world to truly appreciate.

The facades of many dives are not exactly welcoming--they often have the appearance of not being remodeled since circa 1961. One should feel a slight sense of intimidation when entering a dive for the first time, an unsettling feeling that you might wind up spending the night in jail because of what happens here if you're not careful.

Inside, the air is heavy with ancient cigarette smoke and existential disillusionment. Cleanliness is not a priority here. Thin fake wood paneling, with mysterious stains is a recurring theme. Top shelf brews include Black Label, Schlitz, or the local version of such beverages. A dust-covered Pabst Blue Ribbon neon sign might flicker stoically with an irregular rhythm on the wall or the front window (if there is a window--natural sunlight is not the norm in these spaces).

The clientele of these establishments closely reflects the decor. There is often a core of dedicated regulars who have been frequenting this spot longer than you have been alive. They are usually fairly soft spoken; no need for lots of idle chatter when the relic of a bartender has had their drinking preferences (along with the rest of their life story) hardwired into his or her brain decades ago. Karl Marx might have referred to these people as the lumpenproletariat.

Have a seat next to one of these regulars. Have a couple of beers, watch a little golf through the static on the 13 inch black and white TV strapped to the top of the bar. You may then realize that it takes a certain kind of individual with highly specialized skills to be a raging alcoholic for forty years and still be alive, let alone drinking and chain-smoking to boot. Rather than being a source of pity or scorn, I propose these individuals should be held up for admiration for their hard-earned years of wisdom. As Harry said in Barfly..."Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth".

You can still find wonderful examples of such dives in many cities, though you have to look harder than you used to. One of the best towns to find great dives is New Orleans. Sure, the city is a cesspool of pollution, abject poverty, and violent crime...but one thing that it does have in abundance is character, especially if you venture outside the tourist traps of the French Quarter and Bourbon Street (this is all before the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, I haven't been there since then--though I have a feeling that the peculiar atmosphere of the city can't be wiped out by a mere natural disaster).

I was fortunate enough to live in the city early in my legal-age adult life, and experience the city on a deeper level. The are many classic dives here, but the one that molded my impression of a classic dive that still holds after all these years is the one-and-only Saturn Bar. Many of the aspects I describe above can be found here. In addition, there is (or was) a deserted upper section to the bar that you can visit and find various examples of Art Brut collecting dust among the aged outdated bar equipment scattered around, reflecting the disturbed, schizophrenic nature of the bar and the entire neighborhood. I miss places like that.

New Orleans, I despise you from the depths of my jaded, blackened soul. Don't ever change..."a drink for all my friends!"

The Abolition of Work

Whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed from BS like work, bills, etc. Taking a look back at essays like this help me think and take take a more critical view of what my priorities are at the moment. Bob Black may have been a real sununabitch back in the day, but he is definitely an incredibly original and provocative writer.

No one should ever work.

Work is the source of nearly all the misery in the world. Almost any evil you'd care to name comes from working or from living in a world designed for work. In order to stop suffering, we have to stop working.

That doesn't mean we have to stop doing things. It does mean creating a new way of life based on play; in other words, a ludic conviviality, commensality, and maybe even art. There is more to play than child's play, as worthy as that is. I call for a collective adventure in generalized joy and freely interdependent exuberance. Play isn't passive. Doubtless we all need a lot more time for sheer sloth and slack than we ever enjoy now, regardless of income or occupation, but once recovered from employment-induced exhaustion nearly all of us want to act. Oblomovism and Stakhanovism are two sides of the same debased coin.

The ludic life is totally incompatible with existing reality. So much the worse for "reality," the gravity hole that sucks the vitality from the little in life that still distinguishes it from mere survival. Curiously -- or maybe not -- all the old ideologies are conservative because they believe in work. Some of them, like Marxism and most brands of anarchism, believe in work all the more fiercely because they believe in so little else.

The Entire Essay

Other Stuff By Bob

Privacy Versus Security

A Confession

I made this:












You may have heard about a story not too long ago about a fanatical pro-life zealot railing against an article in the Onion, mistaking obvious satire for reality. Hundreds of thousands gleefully watched our self-righteous hero, "Pete" dig himself in an ever growing hole. He wisely left his comment button on his blog open, so people could take a more active role in his humiliation, whipping up even more of a furor over his political stance and his heroic struggles with concepts like "logic", "critical thinking" and "sense of humor". The whole episode was Pure Comedy Gold!

Anyways, I was reading through some of the hundreds of comments on his blog and I was struck by an idea: why not turn this instant sensation into a full blown 3-ring circus spectacle? Thanks to the beauty of the internet, I've got the power. In addition to that, with the hundreds of thousands of visitors to the site (and the comment board), there was a unique marketing opportunity. So I got to work on Photoshop and quickly came up with a simple design, and started to parade it in the blog comments. Several thousand people saw the design...it was a trip.

Hmmmmm, maybe I should focus more on topical current events for designs...

Salon Article About the Episode

Link to Design

Absinthe Minded

I've had a peculiar fascination with absinthe (a.k.a. "the green fairy") for years now. It doesn't just give you an alcoholic buzz, it literally makes you trip out with hallucinations. It was a favorite among the Parisian avant-garde jet set in the 19th century. It magically changes color while you prepare it. Indeed, there is a whole ritual using specialized equipment to prepare absinthe properly. It is illegal to sell in the U.S. It inspired some very cool artwork and designs. All of these things give it a subversive, outlaw aura to it.

Then I actually got to try some of the stuff some time ago. I was less than impressed.

While it is illegal to sell the final product of absinthe in the U.S., it is apparently not illegal to sell absinthe kits, which contains a powder containing many of the ingredients for in absinthe. You mix these ingredients into something like vodka in a bottle, then drink up!

My girlfriend got one of these kits. I eagerly drank some of it up after so many years of anticipation and curiosity. I almost gagged after a few sips, even after diluting the drink with water and sugar. It has an overwhelming licorice flavor about 10 times more potent than Jagermeister. There is also a lingering smell of something akin to a Nyquil factory. I couldn't even finish the glass. Worse, I didn't get any kind of buzz at all from it because I could only tolerate a few sips of the stuff. We still have a 3/4 full bottle of the stuff sitting in our cabinet 2 years later. It is only brought out on special occasions, like for drunken daredevil friends at parties. They all have the same reaction as I did. What a disillusioning experience!

To be fair, after researching the topic a bit, those kits apparently have only a vague similarity to the real thing. With a drink of such mythological status as absinthe, I'll give the drink the benefit of the doubt and get a hold of the real thing, one of these days...

All About Absinthe
Hideous Absinthe: A History of the Devil in a Bottle

Ulterior Motives

I have a confession to make...in addition to this blog being a repository for all the profound earth-shattering thoughts and ideas that I would like to record and share (ahem), this is also a place to promote my art. I was a semi-serious artist in traditional media (like painting and drawing) for years. Within the last year I've given in completely to the dark side of digital art using Photoshop and Illustrator. I can easily kill most of my day playing with those programs if I let myself, I'm addicted!

Anyways, I plan on sharing new creations as they're completed. Maybe you'll find something just interesting to stare at while you're sitting naked at 4 a.m. in front of your computer. Maybe a design will make you think. Or maybe you'll be inspired to buy something from my shop!:) In any case, any constructive criticism (from other artists or photoshop/illustrator people--or anybody else while I'm at it) is welcome. Please be gentle.

Another confession: whips and chains excite me.

Feral's t-shirt shack

Ferality

It's heartening to know that there are still real-live feral humans running around this day and age, who have been raised by packs of dogs and such...

Miss Malaya is a feral child, one of only about 100 known in the world. The story goes that, when she was three, her indifferent, alcoholic parents left her outside one night and she crawled into a hovel where they kept dogs. No one came to look for her or even seemed to notice she was gone, so she stayed where there was warmth and food — raw meat and scraps — forgetting what it was to be human, losing what toddler's language she had and learning to survive as a member of the pack.

I love the part where she reveals her "true self" to a recent boyfriend (after being re-introduced to civilization)...sounds like an interesting episode...

...When she showed her boyfriend what she once was and what she could still do — the barking, the whining, the four-footed running — he took fright. It was a party trick that went too far and the relationship ended.

Yeah, I'll bet she's a real blast to liven up your next party!!!

Read the Story

Nature or Nurture?

Visit Port Watson

I think a good way to start this blog is by linking to one of my favorite articles ever. You may want to take a look at this "fictitous" (or is it?) travelogue if you have a case of wanderlust, or a bit of a utopian streak in you...

The island of Sonsorol described herein really exists, but it's unclear who actually owns it. It lies a few hundred miles to the southwest of Palau, a US Pacific Trust Territory in real space and directly along the Captain Mission/Libertatia/Hakim Bey axis in poetic space...

Visit Port Watson!